let it rip, let it thunder!

In a room filled with 80 students, I was in love with Chemistry, had the periodic table memorized, and was putting together a chart. Everyone else, including the teachers, sniggered and laughed at me. Going home in tears, I tore it up. I wanted very much to belong, and I cried for days – until I stopped. The periodic table song came on and as I sang along, I thought, ‘Why am I crying?’ I started with a new chart paper, and created something my teachers loved: something I loved. This was my ‘stop, reset’ button.
I was raised in an environment where no one was confined to societal boxes. My mother, a dental surgeon, and my father, an alum of IIT and IIM, were my early role models. Both had carved out spaces for themselves that defied conventional labels. Born into a large, closely-knit family with strong, accomplished women like my grandmother, who ran the government hospital in a low resource setting in Telangana for 25 years, I had a natural affinity for the sciences.
My dreams took me to premier preparatory classes intended for engineering and medical exams. There, I found myself an outsider from day one. I was ridiculed for speaking in English, and ostracized for my choice of attire. The boys in my class seemed to receive more attention and opportunities, while the girls were told to focus on biology rather than math. Discrimination and bias against my name were evident. It took me two years to understand that this was a springboard for the practice of rote and tackling multiple-choice questions – inquiry was unwelcome because it offset their pace.
During the same period, I joined AoPS (Art of Problem Solving) classes and found a community where my uniqueness was celebrated. The contrast couldn’t be starker – I was challenged, not threatened. Without labels, I was met with kindness, clarity, discussion, and my quiet, eager nature was nurtured. This convinced me to seek out institutions for my higher education that fostered an inclusive and diverse learning environment.
When the COVID-19 pandemic broke out, I reassessed my priorities. Falling in love with calculus and scoring a 5 in AP Cal in grade 9 led me back to myself. I moved from ‘Concise Biology,’ ‘Concise Physics,’ ‘Concise Chemistry’ to advanced textbooks like ‘ML Aggarwal’ and ‘RD Sharma.’
News travelled fast that I had opted out of the preparatory program, and I was labelled a quitter, accused of being unable to handle math. Ironically, the program had less to do with math and more to do with rote memorization. But words do more damage than we realize. I was demoralized by my friends trying to bring me down. With its incredible repertoire of activities and competitions, my school then exposed me to advanced placement courses. My academic journey had come full circle, reinforcing my original love for the sciences and math, while engaging my passion for English literature.
I led projects, wrote articles, and took on leadership roles in student government. My endeavours included making a GPS model and explaining time dilation at my school science fair, winning the biology prize, writing essays, poems, stories, and scientific research articles published in my school magazine ‘Cathedralite’ as well as the Curieux journal of science. I took a course in sustainability as well as Bloomberg market concepts, founded a CPR initiative at school called CARE, and enjoyed seeing the connectivity of concepts firsthand.
Looking back, I see how my earlier struggles shaped my current path. I realized that like a mountaineer tethering herself to a rope anchored in icy rock, I was anchored in my refusal to give up on myself. I hoped to serve as a beacon for girls who would climb educational and social ladders after me. My character was forged not only by my successes, but also by the discrimination that I faced and overcame.